Exam jokes

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper. Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either !

Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ? Pupil: How did you know ? Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

Great news; teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. So what's so great about that ? It's snowing outside !

What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher ? Lots of blood tests !

What kinds of tests do they give witches ? Hex-aminations and Spelling tests!

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea? Son: She took it like a lamb. Father: Really ? What did she say? Son: Baa!

Father: How were the exam questions ? Son: Easy. Father: Then why look so unhappy ? Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, but the answers did !

Father: How did your exams go ? Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject. Father: What do you mean, nearly 100 ? Son: I was just a digit out; I averaged 10!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that test ? Son: Absence. Father: You were absent on the day of the test ? Son: No, but the boy who sits next to me was !

Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

A Joke

चार कलेज विद्यार्थीहरु राति अबेरसम्म खेलेछन् र भोलिको जाँचको लागि तयारी गर्न सकेनछन् । बिहान उनीहरुले एउटा जुक्ति निकालेछन् । जुक्तिअनुसार उनीहरुले आफ्नो शरीरभरि माटो दलेछन् र झुत्रे झाम्रे भएर क्याम्पस प्रमुखको अगाडि उपस्थित भएछन् ।
“हामी हिँजो साँझ एउटा साथीको बिहेमा गएर आउँदा बाटोमै हाम्रो कार पङ्चर भयो र कार ठेल्दा ठेल्दा यस्तो हालत भयो”-
उनीहरुमध्ये एउटाले भन्यो- “त्यसैले हामी जाँच दिनसक्ने अवस्थामा भएनौँ ।”
त्यसपछि क्याम्पस प्रमुखले उनीहरुलाई जाँचको तयारी गर्न ३ दिनको समय दिएछ । उनीहरुले प्रमुखलाई धन्यवाद दिए र आफूहरु तीन दिनमा तयारी हुने बताए ।
तेस्रो दिन उनीहरु पुनः प्रमुखको अगाडि उपस्थित भए । प्रमुखले यो जाँच विशिष्ट भएकाले चारै जनाले छुट्टाछुट्टै कोठामा बसेर जाँच दिनुपर्ने बताए । उनीहरु पनि खुसी हुँदै राजी भए र चारवटा छुट्टाछुट्टै कोठामा बसे । उनीहरुले तीन दिनमा सबै पाठ्यक्रम पानी पानी पारेका थिए ।
प्रश्नपत्र आयो । त्यसमा दुइवटा प्रश्न थिए, जसको पूर्णाङ्क १०० थियो ।
प्र.नं. १. तिम्रो नाम के हो ? (२ अङ्क)
प्र.नं. २. कारको कुन टायर पङ्चर भएको हो ? (९८ अङ्क)

The 4 engineers

Once there were four engineers traveling in a car. While they were traveling to their destination the car stalled on them.

Then the first engineer who was a mechanical engineer said, "don't worry its probably engine problems. I will just pop open the hood and take a look at the motor".

Then the second engineer, who was an electrical engineer, said, "no, no ,no. It is an electrical problem. Just let me look at the fuse box and I will find the problem".

The third engineer, who was a chemical engineer, said, "its just a problem with the fuel. Flush out all of the gas and replace it with new gas and you will see that the car will be fine."

Then the three engineers looked at the fourth who was a computer engineer. And his response was... "Why don't we just get out of the car, shut all of the doors, and then open them again and get back in and start it!"

Refreshment

Interviewer: Let me check your word Power.
Santa: Okay Sir.

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa: Bad
...
Interviewer : Come
Santa: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa: Pichlli.