Funny stuff for facebook status update

• 5 penguins are on the beach then 3 flew to Florida but 2 came back. how many penguins are there? Why are you counting? penguins can't fly & they don't like heat
• Rose's are red.. violets are blue. sugar is sweet and so are u, But the roses are wilting and the violets are dead. the sugar boles empty and so is your head :D
• By the time you finish reading this you realize you just waste 8 seconds of your life just cause you got curious and decided to read my status... loser! :D
•  when someone pisses you off it takes 82 muscles to frown, but it only takes 12 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother f***ker across the face
• Dear friends: Please update my status when I am dead just to freak people out :D
• <- hey look that's my name...my name is on the Internet...wow...cool!
• is not ALWAYS on Facebook, you just always happen to be on at the same time. which means you're the one ALWAYS on Facebook... see the logic?
• last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling??!!
• This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.